MESSAGE FOR CELEBRATION
OF DELLA LOUISE ROACH MANLEY’S LIFE
By Michael J. Manley
February 13, 2020
FBC, Hollis, Oklahoma
Intro – It’s good to be home. Three generations of our family on both the Roach side and the Manley side have called this church, home. My sisters and I were taught, trained, and encouraged in this church. I was allowed to flourish in music ministry at a very young age and was ordained in this very church. Thanks for letting us come home with Mother today. The hospitality, meal for our family, and the graciousness of your loving Pastor has been a gift to our family. Thank you!
Thanks to all of you from Dad and our family for being here with us to celebrate Mom’s life. It is a great encouragement to have you here with us. Also, thanks to the many of you who traveled great distances to be here today. We want this to be a celebration of the life of Della Louise Manley – giving glory to God!
The Sacrifice and Faithfulness of a Wife and Mother
I want to speak to you today of Her faithfulness to Her Husband, to her children and children’s children, to her Lord and His Church, and to her legacy.
I. Her Faithfulness to Her Husband – Proverbs 31:10 – 31 – “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: ‘There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.” Our mother embodied these words. We believe if you could find an illustrated Bible you would find a picture of our mother beside Prov. 31.
1. My dad trusted her completely and she helped and supported him in every way. Counting the time they dated, Mom and Dad were together almost 75 years. You can’t have one without the other. Dad always had hot meals waiting on him. And she did it efficiently. To say she was tight with their money is an understatement. When he left for work both after breakfast and lunch, they would kiss three times every time. I used to wonder if it had something to do with the Trinity.
2. As reflected in this passage, she made almost all of my sisters’ clothes and they were the best dressed in Hollis for very little money spent. She also made shirts for me when I was younger.
3. She was an elegant lady who would have makeup on, earrings in place, and dressed early in the day even though she might never leave the house that day.
4. When Dad was in business for himself, he would come home after a long day and have a hot meal waiting. As soon as Mother got dishes cleaned up and we children taken care of, she would sit down at the kitchen table and create statements with her beautiful handwriting, to be billed to his customers.
5. She liked to plan ahead, and wasn’t crazy about spur of the moment. Yet, she put up with Dad coming in at lunch on a Saturday now and then, and saying let’s go to New Mexico, where a lot of Mother’s relatives were. She, without complaining, would get three kids and them ready to go quickly and we would be off like a whirl wind. They did a lot of traveling in later years with Camping Trailer dad built and the Motor Home. She rode many miles behind him on his motorcycle. When I first heard this, I could hardly believe it. They had a special love relationship and loved spending time together. That’s why we put both of them on the folder today. You can’t have one without the other. They were truly one.
6. She did all that was needed as a housewife and secretary/bookeeper with no complaint and without a lazy bone in her body. She sacrificed for her husband and our family. My Dad has praised her and certainly we children have stood and blessed her. She created an environment of fear for the Lord, giving praise always to Him, and with her deeds made known that she was a child of God.
II. Her Faithfulness to Her Children
Not only was she faithful - but sacrificed much for her children.
1. She was a constant presence in our lives. She took very good care of us and saw us through childhood illnesses and always wanted the very best for us as her children.
2. She was determined that we would grow to be responsible adults, therefore as we grew she would give us household chores and responsibilities such as washing dishes and cleaning the house. Now, we soon figured out that it would have been easier for her to just do it all herself, but she was determined to teach us responsibility. The reason I say it would have been easier for her to do it herself, is because she patiently waited for us to do it and then she went behind us and re-did it, because we would do a lousy job and she was so conscientious about her home she would go behind us and bring it up to 100%.
3. She believed in and loved the Word of God and wanted her children to have the same love for and desire to follow the principles of the Word. She desired that we follow the Living Word, Christ Jesus, with all that was within us. To that end, she didn’t just depend on the church to teach us, she took that responsibility as a parent very seriously.
She believed Proverbs 22:6 - “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”
And, Deuteronomy 6:6-7 – “The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” Our mother taught us Bible, had us memorizing scripture at a very young age, and would even give us tests on what we were studying. She began this with Rhonda and me as preschoolers and continued after Celeste was born. After Celeste was a little older she became a part of this also. Of course, Mom found out quickly that Celeste was more rambunctious and a bit more independent then Rhonda and me, but she accepted the extra challenge and continued on her mission to teach us the Word. She not only was doing what the Lord instructed but carrying on the legacy of her Grandmother Sarah Roach who personally taught and led her 10 children to the Lord as well as several of their children. There were numerous Baptist Pastors, Bible Study Teachers, and Missionaries who were directly influenced by her grandmother including her dad, Mac Roach, who was one of the main leaders, deacon, and Adult Sunday School Teacher at Dryden Baptist Church, just north east of here.
And then, Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Because of Mother’s work at making the Word of Christ at home in our hearts, we became a very musical family. It was the natural result of “letting the Word of Christ dwell”. Greatly because of her, I became a worship leader. Dad sings hymns 24/7. In fact Mom’s last moments here Dad sang “Amazing Grace” and “I Shall Know Him” except he personalized the words to “You Shall Know Him and redeemed by His side, you shall stand” as she was taking her last breaths, my niece Jennifer, my wife Fran, and I joined Daddy singing those words to her through our tears. Dad literally sang Mother into Heaven. Mother and Rhonda took piano and learned to play hymns. Celeste had more musical talent and gifts in her little finger than any of us and can sing like crazy. But, all of that came because Mother made the Word of Christ naturally at home in our hearts.
III. Her Faithfulness to Her Lord and His Church (Member of this church close to 70 years) Dad’s been a part of this church, as of next week, 91 years.
1. She taught 9-year-old Sunday School for 12 years. She was Director/Teacher of Toddlers in Sunday School for over 22 years. And, she did not just teach them on Sunday. She and her partner, Johnnie Crabb, visited in the homes of those preschoolers, sharing Home Life literature and Open Windows devotional books, encouraging young families. Titus 2:4-5 says, “These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the Word of God.” She also was an example to all her students by being in church virtually every Sunday morning, evening and Wednesday evening. She was also an active part of the Women’s Missionary Union, supporting all their studies and mission projects. Her relationship with the Lord was paramount in her life. I don’t know the exact number of years, but I am pretty sure she read the Bible all the way through at least 30 times. She would tell me which translation she was reading from every year. She was committed to His Word and prayer. She also read every word of the Oklahoma Baptist Messenger, the bulletin and prayer list from Hollis provided weekly in these later years with a letter from Mary Beth Williams. Mary Beth and Mom’s sister, Dorothy kept them tied to Hollis in these last 3 1/2 years. We could always see her light up in these last months by mentioning her sister, Dorothy and when Dorothy talked to her on the phone. These two sisters were so connected that Dorothy in her spirit and even physically sensed the moment that Mom transferred to Heaven. When I called her minutes later, she told me the very time Mom had passed.
2. In verse 8 of Proverbs 31, it says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.” Our Mother became one who not only spoke up and became an advocate for young children, but later in life did the same for shut-ins and those in the nursing homes here in Hollis. In her later years, close to another 20 years, she faithfully delivered Sunday School material, Home Life, and Open Windows to shut-ins and many in the nursing homes, becoming an advocate for the elderly. She spent many hours a week visiting and encouraging those who were sometimes somewhat forgotten, could not speak for themselves, and sometimes neglected. I’m reminded of Titus 2:7-8 - “And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized. Then those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us.” She taught by example, quietly serving the Lord and others.
3. Mother was committed to doing everything possible to get the gospel to others and sharing limited financial support to the poor and helpless. Though she was not outwardly emotional, she had a deep compassion for the needy. Again, Proverbs 31: 8-9 – says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.”
She gave to the Billy Graham Association and Franklin Graham ministries for many, many, years and followed their ministry very closely. She and Dad gave sacrificially to Mission Offerings and faithfully tithed to their church, making sure that I continued doing that after taking over their finances. When I took over their finances a few years ago, I couldn’t believe how many different groups in need of help she was supporting with regular gifts. And again, she just quietly did it. I’m not sure Dad even knew how many she was supporting, though she never purposely kept anything from him. That’s just who she was in the Lord.
IV. Her Faithfulness to Leave a Legacy
There is more to her legacy than the best home-made hot bread rolls in the world, and best desserts at holidays. Several of her grandchildren and even great grands have learned to make Mema’s hot rolls and special chocolate chip cookies.
Deuteronomy 4:9 states – “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children” – Mother leaves her legacy of love and service to the Lord to her eight grandchildren, her 21 great grandchildren and her 3 great, great grandchildren with another on the way. That will be a total of 33 grandchildren. She was always concerned that they were all being taught to walk with the Lord. Sometimes, when needed, she herself sacrificed to make sure they were able to be in church and hear the Word of the Lord. 3 John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that My children are walking in the truth.” And, of course, Proverbs 17:6 reminds us that “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged”.
The last wish and words of our mother to those who are gathered here would be: “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosover believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” If you are here today and do not have a personal relationship with Christ, she would lovingly encourage you to accept the gift of the Savior and make Him your Savior and Lord. It will change your life forever.
And finally, to those of us who know Christ as Savior and Lord, if Mother could speak to us today at this celebration of her life in Christ, I know that it would be similar to the words found in 2 Timothy 3:14-17. She would speak them to both her family that she loved so much and to you friends who have gathered here to celebrate her life. “But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”
A WORD DIRECTLY TO MEMA’S FAMILY
I want to give you two things to remember that sound like a dichotomy: “Loose Her and let her go, . . . and Hang on!” In John Chapter 11 we see the story of Lazarus. When Jesus arrived four days after his burial, He said: “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in Me will live, even after death. Everyone who lives in Me and believes in Me will never die.” When he called Lazarus out of the grave he was all wrapped up in grave clothes and couldn’t move. Jesus said, “Loose him and let him go.” Dear Family, Mema is with the Resurrected One, Jesus. She is more alive than ever before. She has seen her Savior face to face, and I picture her walking down the streets of gold hand in hand with Rhonda and they are probably looking for a heavenly Hobby Lobby. She was bound up by a body and mind that could no longer function. We need to loose her and let her go. But, then . . . we need to hang on. Hang on to the wonderful memories that each one of us have uniquely with her. We need to remember all the good times we had with her. Hang on to those precious memories and remember them. And, . . . Hang on to the Lord’s promise to us - that His grace is sufficient to get us through our grieving.
Finally, I Corinthians 15:54-57 – “Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:
“Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power.
But thank God! Hallelujah! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
We celebrate the Victory that Mom has found - standing before the Lord complete in Him and invite you to find Victory in Jesus today! Let us stand and sing it together!!
